10 questions to ask yourself before becoming a housewife
Daisy Syuman, who once retired from a career in order to spend all her time with children, recommends that women who cannot decide what to do when the decree ends, pass a small test. She made a list of 10 questions that a woman should ask herself before finally deciding whether to be a housewife.
So, are you ready to quit your job and completely surrender yourself to the housework of raising children? Congratulations! This is probably the most enjoyable job in the world. But are you really ready to sacrifice your career? Do you understand all the specifics of your new occupation and how to change your life? We are raising the curtain on the stage of “mom at home” life, so that once again you ask yourself, is it worth it?
Did you calculate your budget?
Let's start with the most obvious. If you want to leave work,you need to calculate your profit and loss in order to understand whether your husband’s income is enough for all expenses, or you will cry every time you remember that your cardsometimewas not empty?
Of course, there is also its own savings in being at home with children, because you don’t have to pay for kindergarten, nanny, spend money on travel, clothes for work, lunches and everything else. But you must be sure that the airbag between expenses and profits is in order and can withstand unforeseen circumstances if it comes to them. For example: unanticipated treatment and drug bills.
The financial equation is important, but it is meaningless if your personality requires more than staying at home. Are you an extrovert and need constant communication with adults? Do you have a support group (family, friends) that is always there to motivate and support you in your mom's hard work at home? Are you ready for alienation, and often for loneliness, which is the hallmark of mom's work at home?
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I was given a new role as a mother at home simply because I am an introvert and I live in myself a part of my life, without requiring a large company to accompany me. Nevertheless, I have friends with whom we regularly communicate, and there are also forums of moms, without whom I would simply have lost my mind. I have friends who are more sociable, so it's easy to make friends among parents at playgrounds or on birthdays.
So you must determine for yourself whether your ego and personality are sufficiently ready for a transition to a different way of life.
Does self-esteem equal the amount of salary or your position at work? If you save your job and work at all, will your self-esteem and self-confidence suffer from this? These questions require an honest answer if you want to wisely approach the issue of transition to the position of mother at home.
Depression does not knock on the door, it immediately comes. Only if you value and respect yourself, regardless of the prestigious job and salary, you are not threatened with despondency and self-doubt. Depression bit into pieces corrodes pride and self-esteem, which has a devastating effect on the psyche of the mother and the person as a whole.
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How about discipline and motivation?
Mom's life at home is full of temptations: one more serial series, another hour of sleep, another ice cream bucket - the list is endless. So the question you have to ask yourself is whether you have enough strength to motivate yourself, discipline and lift from the couch, or do you need an overseer threatening deadlines or a reprimand for unproductiveness?
You are your own boss, you will need considerable reserves of the ability to discipline, stick to your schedule and not get involved in the temptations of home life. This is what I struggled with at the beginning of the journey, before I realized that in any case, a career woman or a homebody - everyone should have a schedule.
Do you like being with children 24/7?
ithoo hoo. You can love children to madness, but are you ready to share every second of time with these little flowers that will never lag behind you, even in the minutes when you just need to go to the toilet? Lack of personal space and time - a problem or not?
Children, as you know, annoying, capricious bosses (worse than the worst boss), especially if they are energetic and hyperactive.Are you satisfied with this tireless run with obstacles? Moreover, can you cope with your own temperament when you are dealing with a child?
In this sense, I was lucky, because we get along well with the children and we have many common interests with my son (for example, cartoons from Pixar studio). Our days are fun and harmonious, despite the periodic clashes of characters. So, you need to remember: loving children and enjoying their company 24/7 is not the same thing.
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Does your husband support you enough?
I’m not talking about a financial issue, because without this there wouldn’t have been a talk about switching to home mom’s regime. I mean, will your partner appreciate what you are going to devote yourself to? Or do you have to answer the question day after day: “What did you do all day long?”.
When my husband and I discussed the issue of my being at home with the children, he immediately made me understand that this decision was dictated by the education of our son, and not by my transformation into a highly qualified housewife.
It is clear that household chores are an integral part of the work of any mother, no matter if she works or not.But working mothers rarely have to blush for unwashed dishes, uncleaned rooms and unwashed things, because they have not been at home all day. Classes, games and parenting should not be perceived as given, so moms at home may have their own excuses. The main thing is mutual understanding between you and your husband, because otherwise there can be regrets and resentment that you are not in equal conditions.
Do you have other ways of self-realization?
What makes you happy? Reading a good book, watching drama, the opportunityanythingtinkering, cook, plant in the garden, dance or exercise? Whatever it is, is theresomethingthat defines you as a person, not as a mother, but as a person who lovessomebusiness and continues to do it after leaving work?
If not, then you need to findsomeways of self-realization that will go away from your parental vocation, because without it, your thirst and vital enthusiasm can be extinguished, replaced by depression and boredom.
Why are you leaving work?
Who do you do this for? Is this your desire or is your family, society, husband pressing on you? This is especially true in India,where it is believed that working mothers have a negative impact on the development of the child, and you need to stay on maternity leave or leave work for at least the first few years.
In short, whatever the reason for leaving, remember that this should be your decision and your choice, and not the imposed opinion of others. "Victim for the sake of the family" works, but rather turns into regret and burden.
Do you have a hard character?
Becoming a parent, the character should become firmer, and the skin, so to speak, thicker. Moreover, if you leave the job for the role of a home mom, make sure that you are ready enough for this. Questions such as "You do not work?", Hinting at the fact that you do not understand what you do all day, or "What happened? Where are all your ambitions? ”, Hinting that your education and experience went to the cat's tail. Be prepared to be the target of such correctness from well-wishers.
Do not misunderstand me, working mothers have their “favorite” questions (I, too, have been in this role!), But mothers do not have a cover in the form of wages at home to gain respect. So, strengthen your character, keep calm & ignore criticism.
Do you have a retreat?
Your departure from work may be absolutely justified, but time is fleeting and cunning. What if you decide to change everything halfway? What happens when you do not have time to look back, the children will grow up and will be all day at school? What then? Do you have a retreat?
For example, I should always have a plan, because I can't stand the uncertainty.At first, you need to know how long you are going to be a mom at home, and what you will do when you are ready to return to work.Secondly, you have to ask yourself what you are doing today to make it easier for you to change roles at the time you planned it. You may find that this is a very long-term perspective, but time passes inexorably fast, especially when you take care of the little ones. So the answers must be in the sleeve before the whole enterprise starts.
There are a lot of questions and doubts before mothers about work and family. Mother-housewife is a permanent attraction, which brings joy and happiness to the peaks, and then drops into the depths of anxiety, doubt and pain. But, and as in all cult films, the ending always proves that it was worth it ... I think.