Bonding and its benefits for mom and baby
Have you read the title of our article and thought that it is a question of some new disease?Far from it - it is much nicer. So calledan amazing invisible intuitive connection between the child and the mother, thanks to which they remain a single whole for a long time.
We think you are already familiar with this phenomenon, because almost every mother practices bonding, often without even knowing it. Surprised? But don't you know how to understand your baby from a half-look and half-sound? Guessing that he has a pain for a change in his behavior or a maternal instinct to feel that today his moods carry some more serious reason than usual. Familiar? So all this -bonding.
Bonding cannot be taught, butit does not arise immediately, as they say, from scratch. This is a phased process. About how you can learn bonding and what benefits it has for you and the baby, we will tell in our article.
Bonding and pregnancy
There is no better time for bonding thanpregnancy. After all, right now, mother and her baby are one.
However, not all mothers immediately find a common language with the baby, sometimes it is difficult for a woman to perceive a child as long as he is born. We suggest starting to love your baby in advance! How to do it? Talk to the toddler every day, at least mentally, stroke your tummy, tell me how you are waiting for his appearance.
Include your baby music, read books with him, go in for sports and discuss what he saw on walks, and when choosing in the store things for a newborn, consult with a crumb.
Our mom-forumchanka Fuls tells: “I have always communicated with the baby during pregnancy, although it cannot be called trouble free. Doctors regularly frightened me with bad diagnoses, which were not confirmed, but you imagine how much it was spent nerves. I always shared my feelings with my son and said that everything would be fine with us. I remember how I stood by the window sill in PAG before an important ultrasound scan and stroked my stomach, trying to calm myself and calm the child down, he danced there just because of my feelings, probably.I often asked him to help me move this or that procedure, told that together we are power, and he is my wonderful assistant. And we always did it all! ”
Do not forget during pregnancyconnect to communicate with the child and dad- they love babies when besides their familiar mother's voice, they also turn to their father's baritone. They quiet down and listen, as if from an intrauterine period, realizing that the pope is an important person in their life.
Such amazingemotions of unity with the babyAs during pregnancy, you will never be able to survive. Use this opportunity to "make friends" with a crumb already now, in the future this bonus will become very important for you, for example, in the process of giving birth.
Bonding and giving birth
Childbirth is the case when you and your child need to act as one team. Of course you are scared. But the baby at this time is even worse! You can take care of him and his condition by bringing yourself to a normal state.
In this case, the indispensable magic wands will betrust in your doctor, understanding that youexpectsin the maternity hospital, what kindstages of laboryou will have to go through as well as possessionrelaxingtechniciansbreathing.
In the process of delivery is importanttalk with baby, and if it will be difficult for a woman to be “in touch” all the time, the future dad can enter into relations, especially if the childbirth ispartnerships.
Read also:Pregnancy and future baby: how to make contact
Bonding and newborn
Fortunately, modern maternity hospitals are increasingly practicingputting a newborn crumbs on the mother's bellythat gives these two closest people to meet in a new world.
The baby presses against the female breast, feels the familiar smell and hears the usual heartbeat. Now, for him, his mother is the only person he knows, and the longer they are around in the first hours of a child’s life, the better. Imagine how lonely and scary at these moments will be a crumb without your support, because he lived a completely different life for 9 months.
If the mom for health reasons the situation develops in such a way that she cannot stay with the child for a long time, again the father enters the process, which can warm, hug and carry the baby in her arms.
After carrying out all the necessary medical procedures, mother and babydon't have to part, staying in separate chambers prevents the establishment of bonding.
Neonatology pediatrician Nina Ilyina tells: “Of course, a woman after childbirth can be painful, scary and lonely, she is tired and she wants to sleep, but the baby also often rests during this period, so it is unlikely to interfere. Yes, and the milk in my mother's breast will appear faster if the crumb goes up under her barrel. "
The birth of bonding will helppositive emotions from communicating with babyand alsothe instinct of motherhood is directly proportional to the amount of carewhich you give to your beloved child.
Set onbreast-feeding, frequent attachment to the breast, joint sleep with the baby, close emotional contact, maintenance of bodily sensations (unlimited stroking, hugging, kissing, massage) - all these factors make it possible for the young mother to form an intuitive connection with the baby.
What prevents bonding
Unfortunately, with age, mutual understanding can gradually break down. No, we are not starting to love a child less, just this unique, subtle and barely perceptible emotional connection is lost. What are the causes of bonding failure?
Leading the list of bonding enemies is undoubtedlyJob. Modern women labor takes a lot of time and effort. In this case, it does not matter what is your position and how many responsibilities. Both the ingenious manager of huge projects and a modest content manager or a salesperson in an online store can lose their emotional connection with their children.
A tired woman after a stressful and stressful working day, which is often irregular and emotionally wrung out, is devastated. In this state, she has to go in crowded public transport, if necessary, stand out long evening lines in grocery supermarkets, and then go home, realizing that in the evening she is still waiting for a lot of necessary things.
Intuition in this state simply does not work. Mom does everything according to the list, according to the plan, as it should be: prepare, clean, wash, feed, check the lessons, put to bed. Understanding and tenderness? At best, they remain in "standby" until the weekend.
The second enemy of bonding -endless fuss. If a woman spends all day spinning like a squirrel in a wheel, runs home from work, from meeting to meeting, from school to kindergarten, continuously receives phone calls, solves questions at home and at work, she simply does not have time to relax.Communicating with a child comes down to answering mandatory questions: what did you eat? did you do homework? where did you go? what grades?
All such important things for you right now, alas and oh, are not going anywhere, and the opportunity to be with the child, talk, understand each other, can be lost over time. After all, a crumb can just get used to the fact that the mother is always busy, and start living her own, separate life. Even if the toddler is still only 4 years old and he lives next to you.
Bonding for life
Ideally, bonding exists between the mother and her children.throughout life. This explains the fact that an attentive mother, no matter how many years her children are, staying thousands of kilometers away from them, can literally hear from their voices that they have something wrong at work or can diagnose health problems with one glance.
This is not just maternal instinct or infinite love for his child. It is something more - inaccessible to understanding, logic and intelligence. Almost extrasensory, a magical connection that every mother can set with her baby.