Proper eye contact is the fastest and most effective non-verbal signal to another person.
Eye contact is the fastest and most effective non-verbal signal that can be passed to another person.
So, if a person does not look in the eyes of the interlocutor, then this, in the opinion of others, can speak about his unreliability. On the other hand, too long eye contact is considered unacceptable in many professional fields of activity.
“Visual contact can be both direct and imperceptible, and understanding how to combine them is an important basis for creating any human relationship,” notes Sharon Sayler in his new tutorial “What your body says (and how to manage it) signals) ".
But how to understandwhen you need to look closely at another person, and when it’s better not to look up at all? And where exactly should you look when trying to establish visual contact with a person? According to Seiler, it would be much more expedient to make a series of long runaway glances than to constantly stare at the interlocutor. Below are a few etiquette rules regarding eye contact that you should remember each time you look into the face of another person.
1. Eye contact with a business partner
The method of visual contact that is most appropriate for business communication is to fix your gaze in the center of a kind of “triangle”, the lower edge of which is located just below the eye of your colleague, and the upper point is located in the middle of the forehead.
2. Eye contact in personal relationships
And if you know a person well, turn the above "triangle" and visually position it so that its peak now falls on the interlocutor's mouth, and set the view again in the center of the resulting imaginary geometric figure.Most likely, your eyes will now be directed to the nose of the interlocutor. However, remember that looking at the lower part of a person’s face for a long time can be clearly perceived by him as a desire for intimacy or as a manifestation of aggression.
3. Eye contact with controlled blink
“We unknowingly blink more often when we are under the destructive effects of stress, so we should learn to control the frequency of blinks,” says Seiler. If you want to convey to your interlocutor a serious message with the help of a glance, then you should try to master direct eye contact without blinking, since “limited blinking allows your visual signal to generate confidence in others”.
Managing your own eyes is important, because it is through him that people get the lion's share of information about your feelings and thoughts. In business communication, it is necessary to control your eye contacts and eye movements, since it is these non-verbal signals that most indicate your intentions and condition.
It is also worth remembering the importance of visual contact with representatives of different nationalities.
For example, a direct and long-term gaze directed at the interlocutor is usually perceived in Western culture as a sign that a person can be trusted. And in eastern countries, a challenging piercing gaze indicates a disrespectful and daring attitude, especially when it comes to the relationship between a boss and a subordinate.