Scan me a black and white drawing in color: 10 stories about stupid customers

The notalwaysright.com service (“not always right”), in which service workers from all over the world write stories about negligent customers, is replenished with new incidents. Today we will tell you the ten most amusing - and even write them out by roles: the way they were published by the authors.
Let's go, but we warn: some cases are frankly idiotic.
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

At once we want to note that the narrator leads the narrator, and as a rule only one client participates in the story. Letters "I" (narration on behalf of the narrator) and "K" (on behalf of the client), we denote the characters.
Peanut ice cream without peanuts
K: Hello, give me an ice cream. Vanilla with peanut butter.
Me: Yes, a moment, something else?
K: Yes, I am allergic to peanuts, so please make sure that my ice cream will not have nuts.
I: ??? But you ordered an ice cream with peanut butter.
K: I thought that you could make a hypoallergenic ice cream, because it was written on your sign that you were doing exactly that hypoallergenic food.
Me: Well, yes ... just for a start, you need to order an ice cream in which there will be no nuts, since you are allergic to them ...
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

Cheeseburger without cheese
K: I would like to order a cheeseburger without cheese and fries.
I: No problem! Your order is a hamburger and french fries. Payable $ 7.4 ...
K: No, no, you didn't understand, I need a cheeseburger without cheese, I don't want a hamburger.
Me: Well, yes ... I mean ... a hamburger?
K: NO! I don't need a hamburger, I order myself a cheeseburger without cheese! (Note: cheeseburgers cost a dollar more than hamburgers, and it doesn't matter if there is cheese or not.)
Me: I understand correctly that you want to pay more for a cheeseburger without cheese?
K: YES! This is problem?
Me: Of course not, sir. Your order is a cheeseburger without cheese and french fries. With you 8.54 dollars ...
K: Another thing! (Smiles and holds out ten dollars to me.)
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

"Dusk"
K: You know, I read all the books in the Twilight series. I love them! Tell me, did Stephenie Meyer write anything else?
Me: Yes, she wrote the book "Guest".
K: Super! But I do not see her next to Twilight.
Me: The fact is that this book is on the “Science Fiction” shelving. Come, I'll show you.
K: Stand. Why science fiction ?!
Me: Given the topic, it is quite logical.
K: What is the topic?
Me: Aliens.
K: Stop, aliens ?! And there ... no vampires?
I: No, this book is not.
K: Well then, perhaps, not necessary. I read books about vampires, and the aliens are completely unreal.
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

Make black and white color
Here the author notes that the client came to his office, holding in her hands two A4 sheets. The sheets were depicted in black and white drawings.
K: Can you scan these pictures? In color?
Me not.
K: Why?
Me: Well, because they are black and white.
K: So what?
Me: We can not physically scan a document in color if it is black and white in itself.
K: But they were colored on the computer, so it turns out that they have color.
I: Yes, on the computer, they probably were in color, but you printed them in black and white. We are not able to add color to the document through the scanner, if the color was not there initially.
K: But I need to make them colored, why can't you adjust the scanner to the desired color mode?
Me: Look, I can reconfigure the scanner, but your page is the one I will scan, it is black and white, it does not contain colors, but only different shades of gray, therefore the scan of the document will consist only of gray.
K: What? Why?!
Me: Because the scanner scans what it sees and cannot create what in principle is not.
K: But you have color scanners, right?
Me: Yes, and we scan color pictures with them.
K: And yet I don’t understand why you can’t just scan my document in color ?!
Me: Because your picture is black and white.
K: Yes! But it was color before, before I printed it !!!
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

Bird theft
K: How much does this bird cost?
Me: Sir, why did you pull her out of the cage? The cage was closed.
K: I did not pull it out, I took it among your birds at the entrance to the store.
Me: But ... these are not our birds.
K: How?
Me: Sir, seriously, you brought someone else's ... wild bird to us. Congratulations - I did not think it would be so easy!
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

"It could not cook a man!"
The dialogue in this case takes place between the restaurant client and the waiter.
K: Call the chef, the food is great, I want to thank the cook!
I'm great! Now I will bring it.
(Come with a cook.)
Me: Meet, this is our chef [name].
K: (Looking behind our chef.) No, are you kidding, where's the chef? I really want to talk to her.
Chef: Ma'am, but I am the cook that you wanted?
K: (Looks suspiciously.) You're definitely not a cook. It cannot be that you are a cook. This food is very good, it is literally soaked with love, this is exactly what the woman cooked.
Chef: Well, well, you caught us: the real chef has a day off today. But we will definitely give her your words and wishes.
K: Yes, do it! (Grunts, leaving the restaurant.) A man who cooks. Haha ...
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

"You can not be happy!"
The author of this story tells that he works in a call center and is responsible for redirecting calls to specialists from various business organizations. The young man notes that this work is rather boring and monotonous, but he always tries to talk to people as vigorously as possible.
I: Good morning! You called [company name], my name is [name], how can I help you?
K: Something you hurt happy ...
Me: Yes sir, today is a beautiful day, how can I help you?
K: You know, no one at [company name] can be so happy! You are not from [company name], you are a crook! (Hangs up.)
I: What was it? ..
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

More sexism
And this story happened to the employee of the support service - the only girl in the team.
I: Hello, thank you for calling the support service, how can I help you?
K: I want to talk to the engineer.
Me: Of course, on what question?
K: I want to voice the question directly to the engineer.
Me: No problem, how can I help you?
K: Girl, you did not understand me - I intend to talk with the engineer.
I: Sir, I am an engineer.
K: You soo ?!
I: Yes.
K: But you are ... a girl.
I: (With the most intense intonation of a teenager.) My God, I know! Cool, right ??
"Scan me a black and white drawing in color": 10 stories about stupid customers: a cheeseburger, ice cream, only, a scanner,hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, products, name, will, maybe, stories, color, company, document, chef, need

Fragile grapefruits
The employee helps the customer to pack products in the supermarket.
K: Stand! Do not pack like that! It seems to me that no one in the world knows how to package products!
Me: Um ... well, how would you like me to pack them?
K: Isn't it obvious that the bread should be on top. I would not want grapefruits to be crushed, because they are very fragile!
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

Principal Vegan
Me: (I cook for the client.) Add you cheese?
K: Naturally not! I'm VEGAN! Do you know what they do there with poor cows? On these farms? Dairy products - evil!
I: Okay, okay, without cheese, so without cheese.What sauce do you want?
K: Dzadziki, please. (Note: sour cream and yoghurt are used in dzadziki.)
I: I'm sorry, but this is a dairy product ...
K: WITHOUT DIFFERENCE! ADD IT!
“Scan me a black and white drawing in color”: 10 stories about stupid customers: cheeseburger, ice cream, only, scanner, hamburger, can, help, scan, Why, cook, food, name, maybe, stories, color, companies , document, chef, need

As we can see from the example of these ten stories, service workers sometimes have to solve actually unsolvable tasks, but not because of their incompetence, but because of the apparent recklessness of customers. Each of us, too, is a daily client of many banks, call centers, cafes and restaurants - let these ten stories not be about us and let them help us in the future not to get to notalwaysright.com.

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