The main reasons why women have sex. Amazing Scientific Facts
An excerpt from the book by Cindy Meston and David Bass, "Why Women Have Sex" (eng. Why Women Women Sex).
Among the reasons - the desire to lose weight, get rid of a headache, or even simple politeness, the authors argue. The real reasons pushing women into sex are far more unusual than you could imagine. This excerpt from the book contains amazing scientific facts behind the most common motives.
Better than ibuprofen
Everyone has come across an old trick: “Not today, dear. I have a headache". And indeed: during intercourse, the muscles of the head and neck often tense up, and at the time of orgasm, the blood pressure rises, which can aggravate the headache or lead to its appearance. From a scientific point of view, this is called coital cephalgia.
However, as noted by Meston and Bass, in the course of their own research, they were able to establish that some women just seek sexual intercourse in order to get rid of a headache. As a 62-year-old woman says: "I suffer from migraines, and I noticed that during sex ... especially if I reach orgasm, they go away." Another woman said that the doctor recommended that she have sex in order to alleviate the suffering of migraines.
The authors of the book explain how sexual intercourse can both cause and cure a headache. With intimacy, our body produces "hormones of joy" endorphins, chemically similar to morphine; they also act as a powerful painkiller.
Because he kisses well
Another common reason many women call is surprisingly simple: a man just kisses well. Meston and Bass write that kisses accompany sexual intercourse in 90% of cultures.
The fact is that our lips are thickly dotted with sensitive neurons, which are more there than anywhere else in the human body. Moreover, the tongue, nose and cheeks are connected.
In one study, it was found that kisses lead to a decrease in the level of cortisol, the “stress hormone,” and this calms and relaxes. A kiss also conveys information about the partner’s health status, since bad breath can be a sign of illness.
Women tend to use a kiss as an emotional litmus test that indicates whether to move to the next level. For men, kissing is definitely not so important. Surveys showed that 53% of men are ready to have sex without kissing, while only 13% of women agreed to this option. At the same time, a “bad” kiss is a sexy switch. Another study found that for 66% of women, sexual attraction faded away after such an unsuccessful kiss.
To get revenge
Some women admit that they used sex to take revenge on their unfaithful partners. “My husband cheated on me a couple of years ago,” one wife told Bass and Meston, “I gained weight after the birth of our daughter and generally felt incredibly unnecessary. Six months after I learned about his affair, I lost weight and cheated on him with his best friend. That was great".
To lose weight
As authors of the book write, sex can help to lose weight, and some women increase sex for this reason.
According to various studies, one intercourse burns from 100 to 250 calories. Naturally, the gap is explained by the athletic component: pirouettes worthy of a ballet will burn more calories than just lying on their backs.
According to a survey conducted among 1,400 women aged 18 to 59, on average a woman has sex 6.3 times a month. For 20-30-year-olds, this figure is slightly higher (7.5), for 50-60-year-olds, respectively, lower (4).
Considering that a kilogram of fat is about 7,000 calories, the average woman burns 1.7 kg of fat a year this way, in other words, if she stops having sex while keeping habits and diet, in ten years her weight will increase by 17 kg. On the other hand, if a woman has sex not two, but four times a week, and not 18.3, but 36.6 minutes, this will allow to burn the extra 2 kg of fat per year. Or, retaining the same weight, eat 17 chocolate desserts, 23 donuts and 14 sweet truffles a year more. “There is definitely something to think about,” note Meston and Bass.
Many women, especially married women, cite as a reason for sex, even if they are not in the mood, the obligation to do so.
As one 53-year-old woman says: “I've been married for 32 years. And it seems natural after such a long time that from time to time you have sex with your husband just because you feel it is your duty. ”
For some, the author stresses, the conviction that sex is a marital duty is rooted in religious beliefs, but for most it comes from a cultural context where a man is traditionally considered the breadwinner of the family, in response to which his wife’s responsibility is to bring up children housekeeping and husband's satisfaction. Despite the fact that today many wives are also working, these ideas are still transmitted from older generations to younger ones.
Sex out of sympathy
From the childhood, women are taught to show compassion and empathy, to worry about the feelings of others, the authors of the book Why Women Have Sex write. For the most part, it is women who bring broth to the sick, bake cakes for the elderly and ... have sex with unhappy men.
Several women in their own study of the authors admitted that they use sex as a tool for comfort.Quite a few women under the age of thirty told that they had sex out of pity, because the man was hopelessly trying to lose her virginity, or could not invite anyone for a date.
In other cases, a middle-aged woman had sex with a peer who experienced a difficult divorce, while others did so in order to create with the partner a feeling that he was loved and safe.
To not look to the side
As the authors of the book remind, potential competitors are constantly threatening people as social creatures who are ready to tempt our partners into an affair or even permanent relationships. We also constantly face the threat that our partners will break with us in the hope of finding someone better.
The study found that women are more likely to use sex to protect relationships. They fulfill the wishes of the partner so that he remains happy.
According to Bass and Meston, many women, especially young women, also called their desire to improve their skills among the reasons to have sex. Some admitted that they sought to gain sexual experience in order to avoid being humiliated from being seen as sexually inexperienced.
“When I first had sex, in many ways the reason was that I was 19 years old, and there was a feeling that it was time to learn how to do it ... I wanted to know what to do next time,” one woman said.
The authors add that from a scientific point of view, the more experienced a woman is in sex, the higher the likelihood that she will reach orgasm. The same is confirmed by the classic study of Alfred Kinsey, conducted half a century ago, during which it was found that women reach their sexual peak at the age of 30 to 40 years.