What to do if the child got into bad company
Psychologist Anastasia Ponomarenko will tell how friends influence the formation of the child’s personality, and will advise how to act in the event that a son or daughter is affected by a negative influence.
Psychologists have long noticed that the environment is the most important factor in the formation of personality.
Indeed, no matter how a person is endowed with the talent of a pianist, if he lives in a marginal environment, he will never know about his talent. Accordingly, the most ordinary child who is brought up among the musicians has every chance to take a worthy place in the artistic world. Therefore, parents are so importanttrack children's social circle, which can be either a step up on the steps of personal development, and down.
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1. For a start, it makes sense to make sure that the company is really negatively affecting your child, that you are not, as the heroine of the movie “The Pokrovskie Gates” said, “... in the blinders of your own prejudice.” For thisask more oftenoffspring about his pastime: what they did, what they talked about, what are their plans for the future. The conversation should not resemble the interrogation in the Gestapo, there should be a dialogue. Often the picture becomes clearer after the very first words - it becomes clear to you whether you were worried in vain or not.
2. It should be remembered that direct bans you do not achieve. It is much more effective to showalternativebad communication True, this will have to try. Often go with your child to various activities, hiking, travel together. Communication with more fascinating interlocutors will gradually crowd out people with limited, primitive interests.
3. Your child should not havetoo much free time. Sports, music, daily chores - download it in full! When choosing extracurricular activities, be sure to consider the interests of the child, only in this case there will be a return. And more often praise him for help around the house. Say that without him you can not cope. It motivates.
4. Sometimes even loving parents find out about a child’s getting into a bad company by no means immediately. Watch out forbehavior change: depression, mood swings, reactions that had not been observed before - a reason to start immediate action. At first, just speak kindly - without irritation, reproaches. Say that you love him very much, but worry. If you listen carefully and hear, then your child tells you, clarify a lot for yourself. And then make a decision: either these are just your fears, or the child must be urgently shown to a psychologist for an individual consultation.
5. Practice with your child.ability to refuse. He should have this at the level of reflexes. Often the first step in a bad company begins with the inability to fight back the phrase: “is it weak”? Teach him duty, but comprehensive phrases against which there is nothing to argue. For example, on the proposal to try vodka, you can answer: “I have already tried, it is not tasty. I did not like". My relative, to the proposal to pierce an eyebrow, replied: "I will not feel happy with a hole in my eyebrows." More to her with such a proposal did not apply. And what object? Happiness is a subjective concept.
6. No matter how trite it sounds, but you should beare familiar with his friends. Then you can more fully control the situation and time to prevent a negative impact. Call friends, girlfriends offspring to his home, in joint trips. Communicate with them, but without obsession. Praise, but do not compare (God forbid to say: “Look, how well Sveta can cook, not like you.” Just say: “Sveta, how cool you can bake pies”!) And when friends of your child tell him : “You have great parents” - you will receive additional arguments why your opinion should be heeded.
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7. The child needsrecognition of his talents, abilities, abilities. If he does not find them in the family, he will find them on the side. And it is likely that they will find them in the very “bad company”. Hence a very simple conclusion - more often recognize the merits of your children. Arguments that he is "conceited", "grow up an egoist" do not withstand any criticism. He will only be recognized if you praise him excessively and for no reason. Or the reason will be more likely to condemn the act, and not to approval. But if your child has finished one-fours semester, working hard, why not praise him for it?
It happens, unfortunately, that all your efforts to counteract bad influence are useless.In this case, it makes sense to change the place of residence - away from the previous one. Often the distance is a rather tangible obstacle to communication, and it gradually fades away. Remember: there may be several apartments, they can change, andyou have one child for life.